The joys of a a new baby can come with mixed feelings when it’s your second baby. All kinds of thoughts can creep in your head such as “how will I balance my toddler and baby when it comes to giving attention and love?” You may even feel tearful over the thought of not being able to give that entire one-on-one attention to your toddler; you may fear you’re going to jeopardize his feelings for you.
Rest assured, you have lots of love to share and go around. Attention will take a little slide, however, with family support you will learn how to balance it all.
There are some things you can do to make the transition of a new baby a little easier.
Once home with your new baby, you may find yourself hovering over your baby for fear your toddler may do some harm such as be a little heavy handed with passing a dumpster truck on her as he insists on sharing his Tonka toys!
Explain how she would perhaps prefer a soft teddy right now, the key here is NOT to over power him and find yourself in a “bull in a china shop” situation with the new baby being the fine piece of china! That is where the issues will start to arise.
It won’t be easy to keep your older toddler on their usual schedule, however, try to keep his day as normal as possible with his usual routine and attention time.
Bonding with your new baby in the early days may take a back shelf to evening times when your toddler is in bed, and that’s ok! Any time is a goof time for bonding; it’s all about the bonding not what time of day you do it.
Allow your toddler to explore and play with your baby without you hovering over with a continuous no don’t do that, no don’t do this attitude; those remarks could well set you up for some battles of toddler and baby to come.
Stepping back and allowing your toddler time with baby and no interference from you, will truly help toddler and baby bond. Your toddler needs to know they are equal and that ALL your attention is not on baby.
Allow your toddler to explore and play. He will most likely get bored with no come back from the baby and move on to his much loved toys. Too much attention from you will have him hovering back and forth with other ways to grab your attention, and it’s likely to come in a negative form.
Toddler will expect and love the new addition as long at the new addition has not come to take mommy and daddy away from him!
If you find your toddler is showing signs of “Toddler Tantrums, Shenanigans” more than the usual, this could be his way of saying “Hey, I need my one-on-one time with you.
The importance of one-on-one time is coming up in our next blog.